Against All Odds
by eClair23
Summary: Scully is struggling to find closure after Melissa's death. Set mid-season 5.


Scully lay in bed, afraid to sleep due to her current train of thought. She was crying, the kind of crying where she hugged herself tight as the tears silently pooled on her pillow. Something had reminded her of Melissa again, and for the past half hour she had been wondering ceaselessly exactly how everything had happened. Had she been in a lot of pain? Maybe Scully would have known if she had just been there when she died in the hospital.

She rolled over and dialed Mulder's number from memory in the dark.

"Mulder." He answered, completely awake, as she suspected he would be.

Her voice felt small. "Are you busy?"

"It's midnight, what do you think?" His tone turned from joking to serious when she didn't respond. "Do you want me to come over?"

She nodded, forgetting that he couldn't see her.

"Scully?"

Realizing her mistake, she said, "Yes, please."

"I'll be there in fifteen. Need anything?"

"No, thank you."

She hung up, sighing in relief.

* * *

He stepped into her apartment, looking over her, unconsciously checking for injury. His eyes reached hers.

"Thank you for coming. I, um, I couldn't sleep."

"What's wrong?"

"I just started thinking about Melissa, wondering if she was in a lot of pain before she died, wondering what exactly what happened here that night, wondering how she felt. And soon enough, I'd freaked myself out too much to sleep."

"You sound like you need closure," he commented quietly. "Trauma victims often do, it's completely normal. Once you know what you want to, you can finally move on."

She nodded. "Skinner never let me read the case report."

"I can get it for you. Do you want it?"

"Do you think it would help me?"

"No way to know for sure. Couldn't hurt anything. I'll run up to the office and grab it. Make yourself some tea or something, okay?"

She smiled softly. "Thank you."

* * *

He was back within half an hour, case report in hand. He passed it to her upon entering and offered to leave her alone to read it. She grabbed his hand.

"No. I want you here. I'd rather not be alone."

He nodded.

They settled on her sofa, Scully curled up close to Mulder, as he pulled a blanket over both of them. She scanned the report with her typical medical detachment, but as soon as she was done, she looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"This doesn't make it hurt any less."

He played with her hair gently. "It'll get better, I promise. It just takes time."

"I heard the FBI took the security tape from my apartment afterward. They looked over it and it had footage of...it." She finished flatly. "Why wasn't I told?"

Mulder rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Actually, that was my call. They wanted to have you watch it, to see if you could identify the perp, but I told them no. I didn't want you to see that. I had them put it away somewhere in the records."

"Why?" She looked at him, wide-eyed.

"Because I knew if you found out you would insist on watching it for evidence's sake, but that you would regret it later because you wouldn't be able to get those images out of your head. I know that because I did the same thing when Sam disappeared, and that video is one of the reasons I don't sleep anymore. I wanted to protect you from that, at least."

She rested her head on his shoulder gratefully. "What are the other reasons?"

He hesitated, then spoke softly. "You."

She turned to face him, searching his eyes for a hint of humor, and finding nothing but seriousness. "What?"

"If I do dream, it's usually about Sam, but lately, it's been about you. I keep replaying that voicemail you were leaving when Duane Barry...took you, or I dream that the cancer beat you and I have to find some way to keep living, and then I wake up and I have to wait until I come in to work to see you and make sure everything's okay."

Scully placed her hand on top of his, squeezing reassuringly. "I'm here now, I'm okay. Everything's fine, remember?"

He nodded slowly.

"And you know you can call me if you get freaked out. I just did that to you, didn't I?"

"That's different, I was already awake. I don't want to wake you with my ramblings. One of us should sleep."

"I'm not going to sleep if I'm worried about you, though. If it'll help you to call me and just talk, I want you to do that, okay? Partners help each other. Friends help each other. Alright?"

He managed a weak smile. "Thanks, Scully."

She snuggled closer to him, closing her eyes. "Of course."

Within two minutes, she was asleep against him, and her deep, even breaths lulled him to sleep knowing she was nearby and her heart was still beating defiantly, against all odds.


End file.
